In Search Of. . . Observations: Convictions

In Search Of. . .Observations: Convictions.

So anyone who knows me well, knows I don't feel guilt very often, occasionally I feel shame. I guess that's a horrible thing, but it's the truth. I actually felt guilty about something recently, and I mean actual guilt, which was new to me.

If any of you have been following along, I'm doing the Rory Gilmore reading challenge. It's been fun so far, but I took a detour recently to read a book series. After my fourth night of staying up late to finish the book, the guilt hit me.

I spend a boat load of time, valuable time, reading junk. I don't just read, either. I gorge myself on it until I'm stuffed to the brim. And then I go back and read some more. It's like being the fat person at a buffet.

Believe it or not, it's not what I'm doing that makes me feel guilty.

It's what I'm not doing.

In all my reading, I never read my Bible, and for once I feel guilty about it. I make all this time, and I mean I make it--don't sleep to make time--to read all this crap, but rarely my Bible

This isn't a trite, "I-heard-a-message-on-daily-devotions" type of guilt either. This is the personal realization type of guilt.
It's kind of like a bee stinger under the skin. You feel it deeply. What's more, I want to take the bee stinger out, not just get accustomed to the dull throb.

To say, I've read this or that won't mean anything in the end, even if I write the most beautiful, articulate articles about the books. My Bible on the other hand is the written word of God; it will mean something. It has the power to change. Unlike books that simply influence my ideology or connect with some nebulous emotion of mine, the Bible can really change my core in a way that nothing else can. While I may not regret reading other books--there's nothing wrong with that--I do regret not reading my Bible first.

For once, I truly want to read my Bible because I need too; not because I'm supposed to or I'm floundering in life. I'm fairly steady and I actually want to read my Bible. Now, I have to address the daunting task of where to start.

I know that this is vague and probably sounds like jibber-jabber, but it's honesty that I felt I should share. I spend so much time reading junk and ignoring things that really matter.

I need to change that.

As Always,